On Immersion
Part of this blog post was written before I went home for Christmas. The other part was written as I readjust to being back in France and literally re-immerse myself. There’s a lot to say on immersion and also probably a lot of science on how it actually works, but this is what I’ve observed.
If you know me, you know that I am a fairly outgoing person. I can be kind of loud, I am very talkative, bubbly, and not really all that shy. Living in a different country, however, means that it’s that much harder for me to express myself. Even though I have a decent grasp on French, speaking it is much harder than listening or reading it.
When I’m surrounded by French people, I find myself being much quieter than normal because I don’t always know what to say or how to express myself. It’s kind of a fun social experiment of being exactly the opposite of how I normally comport myself amongst people. Sometimes it’s hard because there’s something I want to agree with or add on to, but I don’t always know how to express myself.
There’s also something to be said about the cultural aspect of this. On the one hand, I’m not always sure if it’s appropriate in France to add my view (meaning do they really care what the young American thinks - god forbid I’m like Emily in Paris). Moreover, even though everyone says people in the south are the friendliest, they’re still French. By that I mean not as warm and welcoming at first glance as Americans. This is not to say this is true of all French people all the time. But in my experience many of my teachers don’t always invite small talk or include me in a concrete way in the conversation. I feel as though in America, if you were eating lunch with a group of almost-strangers (maybe, coworkers you’ve never eaten with before), they’d eventually ask you some questions or make sure they gave you an opportunity to share something. Not the case here. I have to initiate it which I’m frankly not always used to. It makes it that much harder for me to fully participate in conversation, so I continue being silent.
Living in France has also forced me to become a better listener. When you’re not listening to your mother tongue, you have to pay super close attention. A lot of times, in addition to just speaking quickly, there are colloquial phrases that combine words I’ve learned in one context but mean something entirely different (this week’s example: tu m’étonnes to me literally means “you shock me.” but in familiar use it means tell me about it.”). It’s honestly a good skill to practice because it forces me to be more present where my feet are. I can’t passively partake in a conversation while scrolling on my phone (or more normal for me now, lesson planning). I come back again to this idea of really trying to only do one thing at a time. It does help from a pandemic standpoint - I don’t run out of as many things to do.
I also think it’s easier to drift off, though, because it’s impossible to stay laser focused on conversation all the time. But that also means that I’m more observant of my surroundings. I take in the scenery, hear the sounds that aren’t voices, and really breathe in what I’m seeing. Also, most of these immersion experiences I’m thinking of in writing this blog take place during the lunch hour. An added benefit of that means I eat way slower because I often pause, reflect, figure out what someone means. Or pause, enjoy the bite, then try to rejoin the conversation (as best I can).
This could also be due to the fact that French people (not all people, but the middle-aged teachers I interact with) are just on their phones less, so I too try to keep mine away when I’m eating lunch with them. But honestly, I do think this whole idea of being the complete opposite person in social situations I normally am is in part due to the immersion experience. And I also find myself carrying it to social situations in France where English is being spoken. I do honestly think it’s forced me to be more an active listener and less of a conversation dominator. That being said, I’m not really sure if I could say this is going to be a sticking habit for me because while I was home in America, I was only ever in small groups (thanks Covid) so never needed to really act like a conversation dominator. When you’re only hanging out with four or five people, it’s much easier to get a word in. But I guess I’d also have to ask the people I spent the most time with at home what they think - ahem, family ?