On Missing America

I was recently reading the blog post of another American assistant and she listed some things she missed about America. I’ve mentioned here and there but I don’t have a full list, so I thought that would be a good topic for this week.

Iced coffee - this was a major gripe abroad as well, especially in April, May, and June. I remember how easy it was to make cold brew in my French press in Geneva (and then, gasp, drink it on the bus much to the disgust of my fellow passengers). I have started doing the same here, even though it is February, because after having spent 4 years in upstate New York and 2 years in Boston anything above 45 degrees Fahrenheit is cold beverage weather. There’s one place near my new apartment that does great iced coffee, but that’s the only one I’ve found. I know it’s not really a thing in Europe as they drink espresso year round. But god. I miss Dunkin. I also miss iced lattes, which I won’t even bother to find because those are probably sacrilegious.
Small talk - I’ve talked before about how the teachers I work with aren’t really interested in small talk, or any sort of shoot-the-shit conversation. In America, I feel like it’s de rigueur, and I honestly don’t mind it. Except when it’s about the weather. That is just downright unnecessary. But here, it’s beyond just small talk. My teachers haven’t once asked me why I’m doing this program, or how I’m adjusting, or anything of that matter. I know it’s cultural and Americans are naturally very open and equally nosy people. But it’s a weird adjustment. I’m used to over sharing (thanks Mom!) and just generally enjoying chatting with people. I was talking to Robyn, the American bakery owner living in my town who invited me to Thanksgiving, about this. She mentioned how it’s such a thing in your 20s, especially in New York, to meet someone in line at the bathroom in a bar and share your life story. Whether or not you stay in touch isn’t a given. But that doesn’t happen here. That being said, she did mention how French people are better at staying in touch and the friendships they do have are quite meaningful. But I do miss small talk. And over sharing.
To go food and drink - probably could have combined this with iced coffee but alas. As many people know, France (and a lot of Europe) does not have a to go culture. It’s definitely gotten stronger, especially amidst the pandemic when take out is literally the only option for restaurants to make money here. But even so, it’s still way different. And I have yet to see take out of a classic French restaurant. Which makes sense - the cuisine is not nearly as transportable (can you imagine putting bœuf bourguignon in a Tupperware ? I shudder). But also just the idea of being able to eat while walking (this kind of builds on the thing of slowing down and not multitasking. Eating and walking is two things). All the lycéens in Avignon (HS students) always wait in line for their McDo, then eat it sitting in the park. I also learned that eating while driving is illegal here. Makes sense, but boy do I eat while driving a lot in America.
Driving / having a car - from an environmental perspective and public transportation being amazing here perspective, I arguably don’t miss this THAT much. But in COVID times this is definitely something I miss more because bus/train schedules here are still whack. I’m also in a region where it is best to explore by car because it’s hilltop villages, cliff side highways along the coast, and remote countryside areas. I remember abroad I didn’t miss this as much, but that’s because I was always on the go (and Geneva is so centrally located and has wonderful public transportation that it didn’t feel super necessary). Now that I am older and actually living here, it would be nice to have a car every once in a while. I also miss driving and listening to music, having the windows down, and feeling that notion of escape, which is so necessary in COVID. I remember in April, just driving to get takeout felt like jail breaking. Riding on a bus just doesn’t have the same sentiment. But I am also immensely grateful for the wonderful public transportation of Europe.
Salads as meals - sweetgreen, if you see this, please ship to Europe. French people do eat a lot of veggies and do eat salads, but it’s very much as a starter or finisher to a meal. It’s usually light, just lettuce and dressing and maybe one raw veggie. And there are no takeout salad places (or even sandwich places that offer salads). I just miss having a filling salad with protein from sweetgreen that had perfect amounts of crunch and varying textures and was almost always dressed right. Margaret and I have made a few meal salads for dinner, but honestly nothing beats choosing each of your own ingredients, having it be dressed fully, and watching it made. I also always felt so light and healthy after eating a salad as a meal, which was great for lunchtime because I wouldn’t feel lethargic for the afternoon. Here, since lunch is two hours, I do tend to eat bigger meals. I don’t feel as lethargic though because my afternoons are filled with young French children shouting Hello at me without the H.
Athleisure being acceptable fashion to wear out and about - I think I mentioned this in my blog posts about fashion, but here wearing leggings as pants is NOT a thing. I only see people wearing leggings when working out, and even then it’s rare. I miss being able to run errands in leggings and a dry fit long sleeve without people staring at (or in some super annoying cases, catcalling) me. Sweats are definitely okay here in a trendy/millennial way, but that’s about it. I don’t see people wearing they’re skintight full on lululemon and athleta getups like I would in Boston. I also think maybe I was more surprised about this because there’s been such a shift towards athleisure in America due to the pandemic and working from home? But then I guess if those working from home ARE wearing athleisure, how would I know? I also miss not feeling self conscious in workout gear. Here, I get lots of stares when I’m on a run wearing leggings and a tank top. I see other people wearing workout clothes, but they’re definitely more conservative outfits. Athleisure and fitness clothes are just part of my daily life in America, and I miss being able to go outside in comfy, form fitting outfits without a second thought.
Breweries - this definitely isn’t just an abroad thing but also a pandemic thing. But I miss breweries. A lot. I miss being able to sit at a brewery for most of a Saturday, try a bunch of different beers and kick back flights, play board games, and bring in my own food. I miss being able to get growlers to bring home, sitting outside with Apollo, and having a place to go on the weekends. While this is partly a pandemic issue, breweries are also not as big of a thing in France. I mean, obviously. The alternative is sitting outside at cafes and drinking carafes of table wine for 12 euro. Which I do enjoy doing. But I miss interesting and flavorful craft beers. They are so refreshing, and the brewery experience (especially in Boston) is something really special in my opinion. I also can’t sit outside at cafes right now and drink carafes of table wine, so maybe that’s why I’m missing breweries especially. But I do remember missing it abroad to a degree as well, because there just wasn’t as much of a culture of small, independent, craft breweries then. I think it is expanding in Europe, but I haven’t seen any in Avignon.
Normal operating hours - this is something that Emily in Paris REALLY missed out on highlighting. There are very few stores here (and if they do exist they are usually large national chains and usually supermarkets) that are open 7 days a week, for the entire day without closing. For starters, restaurants here (especially amidst COVID) aren’t nonstop. They open usually from 11:30-2, then from 5-8 (on average). Other businesses that don’t serve food are often closed from 12-2. And then there’s the days of the week. In Avignon, for example, nearly everything is shut down from Sunday afternoon until Tuesday morning. Monday feels like a ghost town. The only things open are the grocery stores and maybe the post office. This can get very frustrating, especially when I first arrived, to figure out the system (and also to figure out where you CAN go if you didn’t plan correctly and need to shop on a Sunday or Monday). I miss knowing that things will be reliably open every day of the week. A few weeks ago my sister was headed to The Container Store on a Sunday, and I genuinely was shocked. I forget what it’s like to have the choice to go to businesses on Sundays. This might sound dramatic but it is kind of a hard adjustment. Additionally, the hours thing can get frustrating, especially since nothing is accurate on Google anymore due to COVID. On my days off, I often sleep in, eat a later breakfast and therefore want to eat a later lunch. This is usually not possible if I want to get something to take away since they are all closed. I’ve been here over four months now, and I still find myself confused by the schedules.
Petting other people’s dogs - this seems silly I’m sure. But when you don’t have a dog to go home to, petting other people’s dogs is a great way to get that quick dopamine hit. I remember in college if I ever saw a dog on campus I would run to it and ask to pet it. Even after Jack adopted Apollo in Boston and I did have a dog to go home to each night, I still found myself trying to pet any dog I saw on the street and often talk to them in a totally not weird way. In France seeing as I don’t have Apollo OR Gatsby I feel even more of a temptation to pet every dog I see. Classically, though, that is not very socially acceptable in France. To be fair, it wasn’t socially acceptable in America I think until recently. Anyway, I miss being able to just have it be totally normal to ask strangers to pet their dogs. I do it sometimes here, but people usually give me strange looks and I always feel kind of awkward. But there are some really cute dogs here.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, and just because I miss these things does not mean I am not enjoying my time in France. But it was actually kind of fun to commemorate the things I miss (so I won’t take them for granted when I’m back home)!