On the Election
It was a historic week. It is not finalized yet, and we have a lot more work to do. But I wanted to share some thoughts I had on spending the election in France. During a lockdown when I couldn’t celebrate with fellow Americans.
On Tuesday, I was teaching at one my schools. Since I’m six hours ahead, there wasn’t any real news about the polls until after I had gone to sleep. It literally felt like any other normal day. No one even asked me about the election until 4 PM, when one of the teachers mentioned she knew it was an important day for America and asked if I could explain to the 8-year-olds why. In English. Needless to say that was a dumpster fire (kind of like America for the last four years [some could argue for the last 250 years]).
I kind of got the best end of the deal because I was able to go to sleep before any results were in (no chance of my staying up till 1 am just for the first states) and wake up with some amount of results. The difference with this time was that I didn’t get to wake up knowing our next president. Wednesday was a little tough because I felt very impatient not only waiting for everyone to wake up, but waiting to hear more news. I also couldn’t go and hang out with other Americans in Avignon due to the confinement. I tried to avoid the news and go about my midweek day off as though nothing special was happening.
One thing I am very grateful for during the past week is that I was able to selectively tune into the news when I wanted to. I could check my phone when I felt like it, but it wasn’t a constant noise going on in the foreground like I imagine in America. I remember this from the early quarantine days in March/April too - it was all anybody could talk about and it felt incessant and constant. News should not be on a 24-hour basis. It was such a relief to know that I could choose when I wanted to tune in (and I know a privilege too), and I wish it could have been this way for everyone. It really helped me stay sane. Come Thursday, I was impatient but back to teaching. I didn’t dwell on checking the numbers too much because I knew it could be weeks or months. I just felt lucky that I was able to remind myself that.
While nothing changed on Friday, I did unwind with the aforementioned cheese plate. It was actually not awful being alone at this point because I felt like the silence was serene, almost. Like the eye of a hurricane. I guess also, since I’m in confinement and not regularly interacting with French people, it’s not like people were asking me my opinion. I remember being in France in 2017 when Trump was getting inaugurated, and everyone wanted to know my opinion. Not the case this time, but perhaps for the better.
On Saturday, the news came in while I was on a run. As I was listening to Hamilton. It started to pour but I kept running because I was so ecstatic. Once it was too slippery to walk without losing my balance, I went inside. That’s when I stopped being in my beautiful “being in France during this election is great “ bubble. I didn’t get to celebrate with everyone in America. I saw all of the Instagram and Snapchat stories, the news alerts, the Facebook posts. I felt a lot of FOMO. I just wanted to hear people honking and shouting in the streets. But I’m not in America. I’m also not in a super large city with a significant expat population. This is a historic time in American history and I am quite frankly crushed I can’t be there.
I felt guilty leaving America at her hour of need, but I also didn’t entertain the possibility of Biden winning. I think I was worried about jinxing it. But I knew we will be celebrating for months and years to come. And I also know that yesterday’s celebrations are a beginning to the work we have yet to do for this country, and I am even more excited to do the work and participate in rebuilding our democracy.